Twentysomething in Buffalo

Some fine Gin

This week's Thursday at the Square is something I have had circled on my calendar for a while. The Gin Blossoms, whose "New Miserable Experience" was a staple in the soundtrack of my formative years, are coming back to town.

For the longest time I considered the band sort of a guilty pleasure, but after coming to know its influences -- including power pop legend Tommy Keene -- I no longer feel the need to apologize for enjoying the group. Besides, the songs penned by the late Doug Hopkins are soaked with the sound of one of my all-time favorites, the Replacements.

Getting back to the soundtrack theme, though, I fondly recall leaning heavily on tracks like "Hey Jealousy" and "Found Out About You." One reason was because they were endlessly replayed on the radio (remember what one of those is?); the other was that they dulled the insecurity of those teenage years.

I used to think Hopkins relied on experiences from his youth to generate such angst-filled offerings. After pulling the album off the shelf for some prep listening this week, though, the obvious dawned on me: He and the band were in their 20s when they wrote this stuff and absolutely drawing from their present. It makes sense, because I sure don't have this place figured out yet and would argue I am exponentially further away from an understanding.

Soul Asylum, our own Goo Goo Dolls and the Grateful Dead are three other bands I relied upon then and still spin now (mostly the older stuff, but some of the new releases, too). There are others, like Green Day and the Offspring, that I probably have not listened to in years.

So what about you? Anyone else feeling somewhat nostalgic about the show? It should be neat looking around to friends, exchanging glances and smiles indicating this is our music, while some inattentive youngsters cluelessly wonder what all the fuss is about.

And what are some of the bands from your formative years that you either still enjoy (on your iPods) or are ashamed to cop to?

---Geoff Nason

Accidents Happen...Too Much

Bodies aren't supposed to bounce off the ground.

But for the second time in a month, that's the image I saw when going to work. Normally I wouldn't write anything because accidents happen all the time, but this particular scene stayed with me all day. This was the second motorcycle accident I'd seen at the exact same intersection where the rider had flown over the handlebars and hit the ground hard.

The first time I was waiting to make a left turn, and I looked in my rear view mirror only to catch a glimpse of a biker crashing into the car behind me and flying over his bike. All I saw was a body flying, and I quickly pulled over to the nearest parking lot, thinking the worst case scenario: the car had hit a bicyclist.

Fortunately, everything turned out OK. No one was hurt (though shaken up), we were able to call the police on my cell, and by the time they got there, everyone had resolved the issue.

This morning was a different picture. I was the first car waiting at a red light, and all of a sudden I saw a motorcycle heading full force into a streetlight pole directly in front of me. The rider was thrown off, the bike rolled a couple of times, and several parts went flying into the street. My stomach was in knots; it seemed like there was no way this rider would walk away as easily as the first had.

I pulled into the same parking lot as before, and by the time I ran over, another man was talking to the rider and calling 911. She was sitting up, OK by some miracle, and completely aware of the situation, even reaching for her own cell phone to call police.

She told us she thought her bike had gotten stuck in first gear, and that was what she believed had caused the crash. After a few minutes, a crowd had gathered to help move the bike (which was streaming gasoline) and support the rider. I walked away as police arrived, but as I started driving back to work, I had to pull over for a second because my heart was beating so fast.

Sure, it shouldn't be a big deal for me. My car wasn't physically involved in the crash, no one was hurt and plenty of help was available. But there's something about seeing someone so physically vulnerable, getting thrown so forcefully and violently, within only a few yards from your own vehicle, that really sticks with you. I know I'm an adult, but at those moments, I feel like a scared and disorientated child.

--- Molly Hirschbeck

Galleria Too Big Now?

I finally went to the new Galleria Mall Regal Cinemas last night. I saw "The Dark Knight" and yeah, the movie was great. Moreover, the seats were beyond comfortable and the leg room even better.

But my experience was somewhat overshadowed by how hard it was to find a parking spot (since when do we need valet parking at the mall?), how hard it was to navigate the new part of the mall (a sign pointing to where the theater was ... but then wasn't) and the impossibly long line because one person was selling tickets and the ticket-buying machine I tried didn't have a working printer.

Apparently, the Galleria is still working out the kinks. But honestly, I can't blame it all on the Galleria because in trolling for parking, cars were idling in both lanes in front of a mall entrance, effectively blocking traffic. Talk about inconsiderate.

When I was younger, my parents never took me to the Galleria Mall because it was "too big."  Discovering the joys of shopping as a teen, I started going there on a regular basis; it has more stores and a better selection. And now, I'm sort of in awe of the shiny new wing, even though I can't afford to do all my shopping there.

However, my new feeling is that the mall, in continuing to expand, will no longer be a place
to hang out. The corridors are getting too circuitous and the clientele less Buffalo and more
Canada.

Of course, that won't stop me from going to Delia's when I need new jeans, but after last night's less-than-people-friendly experience, I don't know if I'll feel the need to visit the mall weekly as a did when I was younger.

So, what do you think of the expansion? Too much, not enough or somewhere in between?

--- Kristen Rajczak

Facing the Loss of Heath Ledger

Batman pandemonium seems to be in full force, with more than 30 midnight/early morning showings in the Buffalo area the night "The Dark Knight" premiered, and more than hourly showings starting as early as 9 a.m. through the weekend.

I covered the midnight madness, interviewing full-grown people in face paint and Batman pajamas.

Obviously, the late Heath Ledger was a major focus of pre-film excitement, considering previews consisted almost exclusively of shots of his maniacally painted visage. (Christian Bale, who?) But I think for us twentysomethings, the Ledger draw goes deeper than a dead actor starring in a movie even though he has died.

For those who weren't old enough to party like it is 1999 in 1999, Heath was a quintessential heartthrob. I probably had a tear-out poster of him from J-14 magazine on my wall. My preteen self found him dangerously attractive in "10 Things I Hate About You" and the human embodiment of courtly love in "A Knight's Tale." His death is the only celebrity passing besides Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes's to make my inner-14-year-old cry a little bit. Our generation has been lucky not to have many young stars go the way of memorial air-brushed T-shirts.

And, yeah, Ledger's death hurt. (Though, of course, a celebrity death doesn't compare to losing a loved one … please don't misinterpret.) Ledger was just coming into his own as an actor with "Brokeback Mountain" and then as Joker in "The Dark Knight." And while people always make such comments posthumously, maybe he was going to be one of the major acting presences of our time. But personally, I think it stung because I am just coming into my own as a person, too. Ledger and I had both moved on from two-dimensional high school roles, and then he died.

Since Ledger died in January, I've had time to address my grief. But something about "The Dark Knight" strikes an unsettling chord. It's not the obvious "exploiting his death" line. Ledger starred in the movie and the absolute media blitz promoting his part could be a celebration of his life, OK, fine, whatever.

What weirds me out is the nature of the film. "The Dark Knight" is just another installment in the never-ending parade of new stuff cashing in on our nostalgia for our old stuff. I haven't yet seen the movie, but I wonder how I'll reconcile my anguish over my long-lost Bat cave play house with my longing for my deceased "future husband"?

-- Jessica Vosgerchian

The Wedding Bell Blues?

Nothing brings me back to my freshman dorm building like the scent of laundry detergent.

I remember the first time I had to do my own laundry. I thought I had it under control but after four flights of stairs, I had to call my mom for her to reiterate the directions I had forgotten within the span of just a week or so. The laundry room smelled like someone took a big bucket of Tide and just soaked every surface with it.

In my new apartment, the one that I have been paying for all summer and stayed a scant two nights in, has a laundry facility much nearer to my apartment, and I have long mastered the intricacies of lights and darks. But I'm facing other challenges of growing up in my new place.

My roommates, who have been dating for about a year and half, just got engaged and I was named the maid of honor. In my excitement, I forgot that really, this is going to be a big job to do during my last semester of college this spring. Unlike the pile of jeans and Bright Eyes T-shirts I faced as a freshman, the gourmet cupcakes, scented candles and other wedding accoutrement I will be tackling cost money and take time to assemble.

Maybe the outcome won't be as satisfying as the scent of warm, clean towels emerging from the dryer, but I'm excited about all this. Helping to plan a wedding is a truly adult thing to do, marriage being one of the entryways into that daunting realm of responsibility.

Part of me feels young and energetic that I have friends getting married and I can help. The other part feels aged and worried that carefree days of watching "The Wedding Date" wrapped in fleece blankets with my friends are going to be over.

How did you feel when your first set of friends got married?

--- Kristen Rajczak

And My Emmy Nominees Are...

Emmy nods came out last week, and though I don't consider myself an extremely avid TV-watcher, I found myself checking to see who made the cut.

I rarely watch live TV anymore; instead, I'm either DVRing, ordering episodes through Netflix or buying entire seasons of shows I know I'll enjoy. I never thought I'd be "renting" TV shows more than movies, but these days I feel like the selection is better.

So, although I agree with some of the Emmy selections, I'd like to recommend my own nominations for best series (both comedy and drama). Disclaimer: unlike the real awards, I'm cheating and making my noms by going off the series as a whole, not just this season. All are great for twentysomethings and older, others are not recommended for watching during family time.

*Dexter- For those of you unaware, Dexter is a forensic detective by day, serial killer by night. Don't worry though- he kills the guys that really deserve it (which opens a whole different discussion on morals and ethics). Every time my boyfriend or I mention we're hooked to a non-Dexter fan, we get that same concerned look and the standard "Isn't that...dark?" inquiry. Yes, it's dark. And twisted, and creepy and at times so graphic that you're cringing or covering your face with your hands, or both. But underneath those heavy layers of dirt lies Dexter, a simple guy with a complicated past, and it's fun trying to decide whether he's the hero or the villain.

*Weeds- I'd heard good things about this series for a while, but it wasn't until a month or two ago that I actually started watching Season 1. Let's just say I'm already on to Season 2. Though the series focuses on, of course, the growth and distribution of Mary Jane by its star actress Mary Louise Parker, it also takes an extremely candid look at dysfunctional families, societal pressures, dead marriages and false friendships. Dry sarcastic humor, quick zingers and witty jabs are all key ingredients in the recipe for a good Weeds episode, and it's rare that you'll find a single one that falls flat.

*Heroes- This show is furthest from anything I'd typically watch, primarily because I'm not a huge fantasy fan. I can only take so many "that could never happen" moments, so I held off watching Heroes for awhile until my family finally sucked me in. Although last season was a bit shaky, especially with the strike, the writers are one of the best things about this show. Their creativity and ability to transform ordinary people into compelling characters is brilliant, and with constantly changing story lines, it's hard to predict where these complex, intriguing Heroes will take us.

*Brothers & Sisters- Hold the groaning. Having never watched a single episode of Days of Our Lives or Guiding Light, this is as close to a soap opera as I've ever come. I realize that the story lines aren't always original, and there's always some amount of predictability, but I've come to love the Walker family, flaws and all. Whether the clan is struggling to revive their floundering family business, trying to rebuild after the hurt of infidelity, or trying to sabotage each other's romantic lives, these relationships seem real and genuine, and I'll continue to watch Nora, Kitty, Sarah, Kevin, Tommy and Justin (oh, and Rebecca) fight and make up until the end.

*LOST- As one of the only shows that is able to capture my complete and total attention when on TV, LOST is also one of those shows that makes you feel, well, lost if you miss an episode. I've filtered in and out as a viewer over the series, because I feel like I need the entire, consecutive experience to understand who everyone is and why they're a part of the island. Kate, Jack, Hurley...and what about that Ben guy? Luckily, a friend just purchased all of the past seasons, so during one of 2008's winter storms I'll be able to hibernate and catch up.

Agree? Disagree? What did I unfairly miss?

--- Molly Hirschbeck

Staying in touch with Buffalo

One of my good friends from high school recently made the big move after college: Buffalo to Boston. It's hard — although we both went to different schools, we made time to catch up whenever we were on breaks, and everything would click back to normal when we got back together.

Now that she's a few states away, it's not so easy to plan catch-up dinners and nights out. Although I'd like to say I've already got a cheap flight (is there such a thing anymore?) booked to see her, between her work schedule and mine, there really isn't a convenient time to take off.

Phone calls, text messages and e-mails are fine in the meantime, but what I'd like to do is send her a Buffalo care package so she can still have a piece of home while adjusting to her new city. Right now though, I'm at a loss as to what I should include. Food? Gift certificates for Boston places? Everything Elmwood trinkets?

Help! What would you include, or better yet, what would you want if you were transplanted to a different city?

— Molly Hirschbeck

Millionaires and their trashy lyrics

I can't say that I'm terribly fond of the Jonas Brothers or that I would buy Miley Cyrus's CD. Then again, I'm not into, say, Taylor Swift either. However opposed to the Disney machine you may (or may not!) be, I must comment that at least it is bringing (well, mostly ... sorry about that photo-shoot Miley) clean music and entertainment to a media scene inundated by pop-tart teen girls in push-up bras.

We have a problem of this nature happening right now in the area.

Xtreme Wheels, which lauds itself as the largest all-ages music venue in WNY, is bringing in Millionaires, a grill-wearing, alcohol-toting group of three girls who don't look older than 15. But their raunchy outfits and dark eye makeup seem to be trying to age them to legality.

Actually, I don't much care what they look like. What bothers me is their f-bomb dropping songs about getting "trashed" or performing, uh, "favors" for boys they dance with.

Since this show has been so highly advertised, there are bound to be a lot of kids there who will be exposed to junk. The band just doesn't seem to fit the model Xtreme Wheels prides itself on: a wholesome environment that families can attend together.

Maybe there is an age requirement for this show. I hope so, but I don't think I'd even be comfortable letting my brother, who's 23, listen to the Millionaires' garbage lyrics.

I'm not naive. I know that young people watch MTV, and will listen to whatever music they want. But condoning a band that promotes promiscuity and alcohol to such a young demographic is positively disgusting.

If I were a parent, I wouldn't want my children thinking that these things make them "popular" or that the behavior the Millionaires describe in their songs is normal for that age group. I'd much rather have to listen to Hilary Duff sing about believing in yourself over and over than catch a 10-year-old lip
syncing that she wants to get trashed.

Am I being too sensitive? Look up the band's MySpace page and tell me what you think

   -- -Kristen Rajczak

Lyrical links

Van Morrison's flavorful rendition of "Saint Dominic's Preview" in Toronto's Massey Hall earlier this week had me wondering if he played the song, which contains "Buffalo" in the lyrics, solely because he was in the area. Wishful thinking as it turns out. It is a tune that has been included in plenty of his set lists of late.

However, there was a small rise from the crowd when the Buffalo line came up and it did get me thinking: What are the best songs that have a direct reference to Buffalo in them?

Now before you jump all over me with, "What does this have to do with being twentysomething in Buffalo" comments, I once threw a party before moving out of my UB apartment with a Buffalo theme. Much of the music had a Buffalo connection, or at least contained the city in the lyrics. If you are not buying my explanation that this is to benefit any other twentysomething about to prepare a Buffalo-based playlist, then you will just have to loosen up and enjoy the list.

So here it is, with special assistance from good friend and expat Geoff in Ithaca, the top five "Buffalo in the lyrics" songs:

* Van Morrison, "Saint Dominic's Preview": And it's a long way to Buffalo/It's a long way to Belfast city, too
-The aforementioned tune. Buffalo's Gary Mallaber drummed on this one, so I would imagine he influenced the lyrics. Anyone know?

* John Fogerty, "Rock and Roll Girls": If I had my way/I'd shuffle off to Buffalo
-Another line I had the pleasure of hearing live. This time at Darien Lake two summers ago.

* Grateful Dead, "Truckin'": Truckin' up to Buffalo/been thinkin' you got to mellow slow
-Not bad to be mentioned in the same song as Chicago, Detroit, New York, Dallas, Houston and New Orleans. We will take it.

* X, "The New World": Windshield wipers/Buffalo, New York
-I have read varied accounts that wipers were invented here. If not, there is definitely the Trico connection. It is cool that the legendary L.A. punk rockers knew that.

* Kathleen Edwards, "Buffalo": Up ahead the roads were closed/and the Gennys ran most of Buffalo
-She does not turn 30 until Friday, so the fact she is a twentysomething helps her get a nod on this list. Extra props for the song -- the lead track on her latest album, "Asking for Flowers" -- being titled Buffalo despite her allegiance to the Ottawa Senators.

Honorable mentions: Traditional, "Erie Canal" (performed recently by Bruce Springsteen); Emmylou Harris, "All I Left Behind"; and Willie Nelson, "Me and Paul."

OK. What did I leave out?

---Geoff Nason

The Dating Game

A friend of mine has recently jumped back into the dating world, and with it realized just how hard it is to be patient in finding the right guy. As she went on to describe her latest misadventures with a couple of "real winners," I realized just how stubborn and nitpicky girls (and guys) can be when trying to find the right one. But hey, we all have our expectations, may they be low or high, and there are some things you simply can't put up with. I openly admit that there are five guys I will not and cannot date, and they are:

*The Poor Hygienist- I'm not into the whole metrosexual vibe at all. If you spend more time on your hair, your skin, your outfit or your eyebrows than me, it's noticeable and it's not attractive. That said, every girl appreciates a guy who showers daily, makes some attempt at smelling nice throughout the day, keeps a pack of mint gum on hand just in case, and owns a pair of nail clippers. Long finger and toenails on a guy immediately leads to a negative physical reaction.

*The Severe Stalker- It's a red flag when a guy (or girl) boasts about hacking into an ex's e-mail account, cell voicemail, Facebook or Myspace page, etc etc. This extends to keeping tabs on your whereabouts by driving by your house, tracking flight information, checking receipts, or monitoring texts and calls. If I'm in a relationship, I'm interested in trusting my boyfriend, not constantly playing a game of Clue or hide-and-go-seek.

*The Black Lung- This guy is the guy that my friends often disagree about. Plain and simple: I can't date a smoker. I've heard so many people say, "What if he was perfect in every other way?" and the truth is, I'd probably pass, only because I find the smell disgusting and I can feel my lungs constrict every time I pass a puffer. I partially blame my prejudice on my 7th grade health teacher, who showed us a video of a smoker's tongue, and I found out that if you smoke for more than two years you develop little black hairs on the back of your tongue. Not exactly what I want to be kissing, but hey, everybody has their own preference.

*The Uninteresting & Uninterested- I'm all about having great conversations and laughing hard, so when that something sparkling is missing - whether it is your sense of humor or your eyes - things tend to fall flat. Everyone can commiserate about a hard work week or being in a money crunch, but if the small talk stops there, so does the date. If nothing really fuels your fire - music, art, food, movies, anything - I'm bound to get bored. One of the things I love about my boyfriend is that he brings so much to the table and teaches me so much everyday. Whether he's updating me on politics, cooking or the latest Colbert episode, I need fun, new and interesting and he demands the same.

*The Compulsive Gamer- Spending some time in front of the flat screen trying to crush the Patriots in your fantasy Madden Super Bowl is fine once in a while when you need to veg out from a long day at work. I've even dabbled in the Guitar Hero/Rock Band cult, and I understand the blank, zen feeling that comes with numbingly memorizing cyber tricks. But when your days consist of nine hours of just trying to beat your online opponent, and your nights are spent trying to find that special nugget to unlock that special code, I really can't relate. And, chances are, if you're locked in your video game dungeon, there's little hope for showering, real meal consumption, and well, sun ... which is a whole different story.

Where do you draw the line when it comes to dating?

--- Molly Hirschbeck